Thank F**k it's January

So January has finally figured out how to remove the handbrake and as it begins to coast unconvincingly out of the garage, the grind resumes for all those smug bastards who have jobs to provide them with their daily 8 hour dose of anxiety.

This however, is not something to dispair over, it is in fact a good thing. For beneath this looming storm cloud of greying depression is the shiniest of silver linings for the lovable, carefree group that society has cast aside and branded as 'unemployable'.

Yes, for while the workers among you have been relaxing and getting fat over the past two weeks during the 'much needed' break from work, you fail to appreciate that you have thoughtlessly and unapologetically turned our cosy little jobless worlds upside-down.

We have a daily routine too just so you know, and it largely depended on the fact that the rest of you clowns are at work during the daytime hours.

Your boredom at work leads you to post articles and videos on the world wide webfooted picture box which we can use to help generate a small insincere laugh while we sit on the couch in our pants eating our third bowl of cheerios.

We can journey freely and unemcumbered about the city safe in the knowledge that the busses, trains and coffee shops we lurk in will be free from your smug pinstriped tyranny until at least half past five when it doesn't matter any more.*

But the bitterest of pills to swallow presents itself in the final few days before you have to suit up again and trudge back to your selected methods of exasperation:

"God I'm so bored, there's nothing to do. I dunno how you do this all the time, I'd go mad. Can't wait to get back to work."

We don't do "this" all day. We do many things, but as previously stated, they generally don't involve you moping about, complaining that there's nothing to do as a centre piece. We all want you to go back to work, then life can resume as normal.

We both have our daily routines, ours is just far more entertaining.

I hope this has gone in someway to vaguely entertaining you at work.

I'm off to make pancakes and watch the wire.

* This is due to a recent high court ruling which said that it's ok to start watching films from said time without being branded a lounged lizard