Which reminds me of the insane lyrics of the insane posse...
still hilarious
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
Very first scene of Seinfeld - the craft of writing comedy
[Scene: Pete's luncheonette. Jerry and George are sitting at a table.]
JERRY: Seems to me, that button is in the worst possible spot. [talking about George's shirt] The second button literally makes or breaks the shirt, look at it: it's too high! It's in no-man's-land, you look like you live with your mother.
GEORGE: Are you through? [kind of irritated]
JERRY: You do of course try on, when you buy?
GEORGE: Yes, it was purple, I liked it, I don't actually recall considering the buttons.
JERRY: Oh, you don't recall?
GEORGE: [pretends he's talking into a microphone] Uh, no, not at this time.
JERRY: Well, senator, I just like to know, what you knew and when you knew it. [a waitress approaches the table]
WAITRESS: Mister Seinfeld. [she pours coffee in his cup] Mister Costanza. [she wants to pour coffee, but George stops her]
GEORGE: Are, are you sure this is decaf? Where's the orange indicator?
WAITRESS: It's missing, I have to do it in my head: decaf left, regular right, decaf left, regular right...it's very challenging work. [ironically]
JERRY: Can you relax, it's a cup of coffee, Claire is a professional waitress.
WAITRESS: Trust me George: no one has any interest in seeing you on caffeine. [she pours the coffee and walks away]
GEORGE: How come you're not doin' the second show tomorrow?
JERRY: Well, there's this uh, woman might be comin' in.
GEORGE: Wait a second, wait a second, what coming in, what woman is coming in?
JERRY: I told you about Laura, the girl I met in Michigan?
GEORGE: No, you didn't!
JERRY: I thought I told you about it, yes, she teaches political science? I met her the night I did the show in Lansing...[looks in the milk can] There's no milk in here, what...
GEORGE: Wait wait wait, what is she, [takes the milk can from Jerry and puts it on the table] what is she like?
JERRY: Oh, she's really great. I mean, she's got like a real warmth about her and she's really bright and really pretty and uh...the conversation though, I mean, it was...talking with her is like talking with you, but, ya know, obviously much better.
GEORGE: [with a big smile] So, ya know, what, what happened?
JERRY: Oh, nothing happened, ya know, but is was great.
GEORGE: Oh, nothing happened, but it was...
JERRY: Yeah.
GEORGE: This is great!
JERRY: Yeah.
GEORGE: So, ya know, she calls and says she wants to go out with you tomorrow night? God bless! Devil you!
JERRY: Yeah, well...not exactly. I mean, she said, you know, she called this morning and said she had to come in for a seminar and maybe we'll get together.
GEORGE: [whistles disapproving] Ho ho ho, "Had to"? "Had to come in"?
JERRY: Yeah, but...
GEORGE: "Had to come in" and "maybe we'll get together"? "Had to" and "Maybe"?
JERRY: Yeah!
GEORGE: No...no...no, I hate to tell you this: you're not gonna see this woman.
JERRY: [indignant] What, are you serious...why, why did she call?
GEORGE: How do I know, maybe, ya know, maybe she wanted to be polite.
JERRY: To be polite? You are insane!
GEORGE: All right, all right, I didn't want to tell you this, you wanna know why she called you?
JERRY: Yes!
GEORGE: You're a back-up, you're a second-line, a just-in-case, a B-plan of contingency!
JERRY: Oh, I get it, this is about the button.
GEORGE: [The waitress(Claire) passes the table; George stops her and writes something on his note-block] Claire, Claire, you're a woman, right?
CLAIRE: What gave it away, George?
GEORGE: Uhm...I'd like to ask you...ask you to analyze a hypothetical phone call, ya know, from a female point of view.
JERRY: [to George] Oh, come on now, what are you asking her? Now, how is she gonna know?
GEORGE: [to Claire] Now, a woman calls me, all right? She says she has to [makes some gestures to accent "has to"] come to New York on business...
JERRY: Oh you are beautiful! [ironically]
GEORGE: and, and maybe [again some gestures] she'll see me when she gets there, does this woman intend to spend time with me?
CLAIRE: I'd have to say: uuhh, no. [George shows his note-block to Jerry, it says very largely: NO]
GEORGE: [to Claire] So why did she call?
CLAIRE: To be polite.
GEORGE: To be polite, I rest my case.
JERRY: Good. Did you have fun? You have no idea, what you're talking about, now, come on, come with me [stands up], I, I gotta go get my stuff out of the dryer anyway.
GEORGE: I'm not gonna watch you do laundry.
JERRY: Oh, come on, be a "come-with-guy".
GEORGE: Come on, I'm tired.
CLAIRE: [to Jerry] Don't worry, I gave him a little caffeine: he'll perk up.
GEORGE: [takes off his glasses and rubs his eyes; panics] Right, I knew I felt something...! [Jerry is laughing, Claire walks away with a smile]
Great documentary about doing caricatures.
Credit: In this film "Funny Bones" artist John Kascht gives us a behind the scenes look at the creation of his portrait of Conan O' Brien, explaining his artistic process and approach to caricature.
Like, really good
Friday, May 6, 2011
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Despite retiring decades ago, this absolute gent still managed to muster up the arrogance to pose for a photo as he beat Barry in an arm wrestle
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